Sometime ago, my girlfriends and I were chit-chatting over lunch when our conversation drifted to the topic of husband snatching, then I dropped what I didn’t know before then was a bombshell….”I don’t believe in husband or wife snatching as the case maybe” I said. They all practically stopped what they were doing and gawked at me like I had suddenly developed horns! Then one of them asked, “Why do you say there is nothing like that?”, she argued that it was a well known fact that some women actively pursue another woman’s man despite knowing his relationship or marital status and went further to ask what if I fancied another guy while in a relationship and ended up leaving my lover for this new guy, then what would that be termed as? In her opinion, that scenario would pass for the new love interest snatching me from my original lover. Well, my answer was….”the new guy didn’t snatch me, I CHOSE to leave my relationship for him.”
You see, for me it’s simple, if my boyfriend/husband starts seeing another lady, then he chose to do that…I have little or no business with the strange woman who has absolutely no allegiance to me. My business is with the man who CHOSE to betray the love and trust reposed in him by me! I further explained that I definitely believe there could be an attempt to snatch one’s partner whether male or female but the ultimate decision to be snatched or not lies with the person who is in the relationship. Many times, women make it seem as though a man is a puppet who’s attached to some string and can be manipulated easily on the slightest whim. We act like the man has no will of his own. The fault always lies with the other woman. Do we ever stop to consider whether our “darling boyfriend/husband” actually actively went after this woman himself? Except it is the case of some spiritual or diabolic manipulation aka Jazz (even I admit that sometimes these things are beyond the ordinary) resulting in a man or woman being lured away by another person, then it would make sense for us to stop chasing shadows and face reality. Your man wasn’t snatched, he CHOSE to leave you!
On the flip side, I would not like to be misunderstood, I am not on the side of the “other woman” who also didn’t see anything wrong in dating someone who was already in a relationship or marriage. There is no mincing words. It is totally wrong in all ramifications! What I find nauseating is the notion that our partners have no fault in this whole husband/wife snatching business. It is not uncommon to see ladies especially fight over a man in public or a hitherto well respected married woman descend so low as to create a scene in a public place all in the name of humiliating a perceived husband snatcher while letting her husband off the hook. “Madam, is Oga a dummy?” “Isn’t he a full grown adult?” “Didn’t he realize he was married before taking that girl to that seedy hotel?” “Then, why are you attacking the lady and not your randy husband?” You may have observed my frequent use of the word “Chose” in this piece. It is deliberate and aimed at reminding anyone reading that as full grown adults we have a will and the ability to make decisions which we are accountable for. We should learn to take responsibility for our actions and anyone who is in an exclusive relationship or marriage is assumed to be aware that they are expected to be faithful to their partner which is why this whole husband snatching business beats me!
In recent times, a couple of female celebrities in the Nigerian movie and music industries have been accused of snatching other people’s husbands with many people vilifying them for this, while the man at the center of it all is hardly ever mentioned not to talk of receiving anything close to the amount of backlash the woman receives. All I am saying is that people in relationships should learn to hold their partners more accountable in the case of any “misadventures or escapades” on their part before casting the blame on the third party. That being said, if a partner is truly snatched by voodoo or through any other unforeseen circumstances that may defy human understanding, then the aggrieved party can rest assured that like every drug or medicine, this “jazz” would wear off/expire some day!