Looks vs Personality

jeremy-meeksThe image above caused quite a stir on social media last week. It is of a convicted felon named Jeremy Meeks, who has previously spent 9 years in prison for grand theft. Jeremy, age 30 and married father of one was once again arrested last week in Stockton California on a one gang and possession of 5 weapons charge. Police believe he was a part of an active group that is allegedly responsible for many shootings and robberies in the area.

Believe it or not, Jeremy has become an internet celebrity overnight because of nothing else but his looks! He has been tagged “Sexy felon” , with his mug shot post on Facebook amassing thousands of likes in just 24hrs, and over 65,000 likes as at the time this article was written. Ladies have been swooning over his piercing blue eyes, chiselled jaw and lush lips, and some have even verbally crowned him the sexiest felon ever to be photographed! No one seems to remember that he allegedly committed a crime, simply because Mr Meeks is quite the eye candy. I have read comments like “Dream man…I don’t care what crime he has committed,” “Oh my god, he can rob my house and “assault” me anytime, ” “What prison I wanna be locked up there”, among many others focused solely on Jeremy’s blatant masculinity, praising his looks to high heavens (as if he created himself), while very few vilified him.

Now, we can pass all these comments off as jokes, but it points us to the not too salient fact that we tend to prefer looks over personality, even though we would never admit it. If asked what they look out for in a person, friend or potential spouse most people will likely reel out the cliche “Someone who is God-fearing, hardworking, honest and caring.”  However, deep in our hearts we desire the tall, dark and handsome dude who has got “swag for days” in the case of the ladies, and for the guys, a beautiful, shapely woman who they can brag about to friends will be top on the list, before considering whether she is homely, God-fearing or intelligent. Welcome to the vain generation where everything has to be visual!

A person’s personality is supposed to determine how we perceive and generally relate to them, but sadly this is not usually the case. Some people have secured jobs simply based on how attractive they are. A man will most likely marry a physically beautiful woman even if she lacks good character, just to ensure “good genes” in his children. Many marriages are in murky waters today because one or both of the parties involved chose looks over personality. We only pay lip service to the saying “Beauty is vain.” That being said, I honestly don’t think it hurts to be beautiful, handsome or generally good looking. Might I add that sometimes it actually makes life easier, so I am not even going to pretend that I don’t appreciate good looks… trust me I do, but I’m not sure I’ll be desiring a convicted criminal anytime soon no matter how gorgeous he appears!

Life is generally unfair, which is probably why the ones who have the looks (as dictated by society) tend to have favor curried their way even when they don’t deserve or ask for it. Whereas, those perceived to appear not too pleasant to the eyes are not even given a chance to prove themselves sometimes, even if they are the sweetest people ever!  I won’t be surprised if Jeremy Meeks gets out of jail only to land an endorsement deal with a notable brand regardless of  his criminal records. That’s the way the cookie crumbles, that’s life as we know it. Welcome to the shallow generation!

30 Replies to “Looks vs Personality”

  1. People are conscious of visual things than personality. Its unfortunate some were willing to date a convicted person cos of his looks. Beauty without brains. Anyway,thats our society. People rather marry a beautiful lady or Handsome man that lacks intelligence to a physically ”average” and very intelligent lady / Man. I said average cos to me, no one is ugly, God made all of us beautiful in our different ways. I’ll go for an intelligent person anytime n any day. I don’t need ‘Olodo’s as children. I love smart and intelligent children that will make me proud.

    Ngozi Anwuli

    1. If only we could all be like you Anwuli. But hey! The diversity of interests is what makes things interesting. However, we should be ready to bear the consequences of our choices. Thanks dear!

  2. Jeremy Meeks has made it big this time, I read an article this morning, stating that gangsters like J M are been employed now for modeling jobs since they seems to attract more attention and likes because of their life styles, therefore making them earn $15k-$30k upwards. That’s the world for you. 🙂

  3. Lolo do you know I was so naive and twisted back in school, that I stayed in a relationship with a guy that kept cheating for years and I couldnt let go just because he is ‘cute’. Thank God for maturity and deliverance oo (lol). God help us all to keep our minds focused on the right things.

    1. I feel you Osowah. It’s happens to the best of us. Can only hope we become wiser as we get older. Thanks dear.

  4. The world today has really become rotten that’s why LGBT that didn’t have a chance to be seen in public back then now have the chance and why? Only God knows. If you make homophobic remarks today, its trouble. If you come out and say you are gay, the world celebrates you. What a shame. Its unfortunate that relationships are not what they used to be again. I think social media is partly responsible now that people can meet on fb when it wasn’t possible over 10 years back. The life of the white man is simple that’s why we see some things as odd. The black man in africa’s society is very complex. Tradition here and there. Som of our traditions annoy me cuz they sound illogical but a gud deal make sense. I thnk of the ways to ensure that there are gud relationships is going back to the practice of parents choosing and we had no choice. Since parents choose, its the right guy girl and they live happily ever afer. Such would be hard to work today because even parents are different these days. The parents have obviously seen good character in him back in the days that’s why they choose him for the girl. Today parents will pick the guy who has loads of cash without looking at character. Money has taken over and its sad. Money was never a motive then. Love and care was. Its sad that that love and care isn’t there again. What’s more sad is that with the way things are advancing in the world today, things will get more rotten and relationships will be affected. God help us all.

    1. I’m not sure people were happier those days where spouses were chosen for them. I think they just resigned to fate and learned to live with their parents decision. Gone are those days. I only wish we would pay more attention to people’s personality rather than their looks. Thanks as usual Kfayiga.

    1. Hahaha. Shaki, you’re definitely the only one that can write this comment. He sure is. Thanks for commenting.

  5. Well if they lived with their parents decision, I’m sure they ended up liking the guy. I’m not saying that parents should choose again for us. Like I said, even parents don’t pick good ones today. They after the good looks and money. Just that the love that was once there isn’t there today thanks to the world that is turning things upside down,

  6. Saw his pix on twitter too. He is cute though. Its human nature to be drawn by what the eye sees but ultimately beauty fades,depth in character is what lasts

    1. “Beauty fades, depth in character is what lasts”…well put Bolanle. I couldn’t agree more. Thanks

  7. Looks vs Personality, what an interesting thought. In resent times people have become peverted and love what can be seen than what can not be seen. Let them release him now to commit more havoc.

  8. Those eyes tho *swoons*. Lol.

    Like you said, that’s the way the cookie crumbles. After all looks attracts first before we even get to know the personality.

    1. I like the fact that you’re not even trying to pretend that you would go for personality first Lol. Keeping it real, thanks Laporshe!

  9. The World as we have it today has become a platform of abnormalities. You’ll marvel @ the kind of things we celebrate…talk about throwing shame into the bin (smh)!

    Lolo, this is indeed a good write-up and unfortunately, it’s the true position of things. Trust me, that guy would get deals based on this. It’s just so sad how we celebrate negative vibes like it’s normal. And then we wonder why evil continues to thrive.

    Well, like they say “All na packaging”.

    1. I wonder too o! Someone has been accused of robbery and all everyone can talk about is how handsome he is. God help this generation. Thanks for commenting King’s daughter.

  10. Most definitely (being honest), looks definitely attracts first before personality. It is the first physical attraction ( tell me Who de tastes good looks and I’ll show u a liar).
    Getting to know the person might take a while(it might even be decades). That’s where experience comes in because along the line, u would have learnt a thing or two and would be able to say……ok, this is who this person really is.
    It’s d human thing, it’s life…… life they say is unfair that’s why we wonder why some things should happen in certain ways.”fine=favour….,”ugly=unwanted”. I love good looks and a great personality rolled up in one.
    I’d choose a great personality anytime BUT he has to be good looking, average at least not down right ugly. Hell No!
    By the way, that guy looks hmmn hmmn… it’s just a shame he’s an armed robber.

  11. Thanks for keeping me informed about this chap. I will look out for his first movie…
    Good looks is always attractive but it’s the personality that sustains eventually. It’s like having “body without engine”
    I hope we can all be patient to size up the engine too befffore we commit to or discard any relationship.
    Congratulations Jeremy! I hope you are able to improve your personality while in there. The entertainment world is waiting for you.

    1. It is so true that the personality is what sustains a relationship eventually. Thanks for commenting as always sir.

  12. I chuckled all through this script. . Its quite a sensitive issue to deal with it. Especially, the part that borders on choosing a spouse. I think its fair to note that good looks no doubt summon the initial attraction in this regard while other behavourial factors (which should naturally top the selection criteria) follow suit. However, given that we are of the flesh, that initial attraction if not controlled(in most cases, its not!) has a way of stirring up emotions that block off the rational part of the brain! Yea. . Ask me about it, I’ve been there. . Lol!. I think the key thing here is striking a balance between looks and personality whilst praying to God to give the wisdom to do so. Whilst, extreme cases (in my opinion) such as the felon above should not be a hard one to crack in striking such balance (provided the other “attracted” party is of fairly balance mental health), others may not be so easy. We can only pray for God’s grace not to “haggle night market.” As this is the case of most of those murky marriages of today that you noted above. I’m happy I got very lucky in this regard but Lolo. . “Ko easy o!” Especially for us guys seeking wives. Looks can surely undermine personality and yes, the modern society and its vices is largely to blame. God help us all. Again, very nice piece, do keep it up!

    1. So good to have you back Abayomi. lol @ “not to haggle night market”. I feel you jare. Ko easy! Like you said, God help us.

  13. A shallow na. We are attracted to the package before the content. So a good looking dude smartly dressed walks up to me with a smile, I will probably smile back. If he then opens his mouth and speaks incoherently/has a bad attitude/improper behavior, then I will surely run. We just cross our heels hoping that the package measures up to the content.

    1. Hmmmm, sometimes even when we now know the content is crap, we stick it up because of the package. Thanks Bolaji

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