It is more blessed to give than to receive -Acts 20:35 (The Holy Bible)
I know friends are not supposed to feel bad about putting each other at some level of inconvenience, I mean what are friends for…right? But when a friend becomes a parasite who continually latches onto and exploits the host for all it’s worth, then it becomes a cause for concern. The hallmark of good friendship is one that is mutually beneficial to the parties involved. It should be symbiotic and not parasitic in nature. However, this is not usually the case. Many times, people make the acquaintance of others in order to pursue their selfish agenda. They initiate friendship because of what they stand to gain, so the other party is unwittingly exploited until they reach their breaking point or worse still, when the parasite no longer has any use for them and moves on to the next unsuspecting victim. There are many parasites out there posing as true friends, they are never there in times of trouble but are quick to show up whenever they are in a fix, especially when they know the other person is always willing to go above and beyond for them.
I have this friend who has a penchant for requesting financial assistance. This person always has a seemingly genuine reason for being quite the nuisance with incessant demands. Each time I see them approaching from a distance, I am tempted to dive into the nearest available hole or wish that I suddenly develop some supernatural powers that will cause me to disappear or be invisible to them, because I know they will most likely have one request or the other to make of me. Sometimes, it’s not just friends who can be burdensome, it could be a love/marriage relationship where one partner becomes an absolute liability to the other. It’s amazing how people go into relationships with the mindset of gaining and gaining and never giving. Whether it is time, money or sex, they are constantly out to take full advantage of the other person in every way they can (and we wonder why divorce cases are on the rise) to the extent of resorting to emotional blackmail when they are turned down. These category of people are energy-sapping, money-draining, vision-derailing parasites who thrive on sucking their host (friend/partner) dry. Now, some are actually genuinely unaware that they are literally a “pain in the behind” of their friends, while others are fully conscious of this irritating attribute they possess but choose to turn a blind eye to it.
It really doesn’t matter if you are the man or woman in a relationship, if you always seek to be at the receiving end of all the good stuff and never stop to think of what you can contribute to the other person’s life be it your friend or lover – then you are a parasite who has no business being in a relationship in the first place! Someone says “Lolade, how do I know if I am in a parasitic relationship?” If any relationship consistently robs you of emotional strength, money, time and every other thing that is valuable to you – you are in a parasitic relationship. If you have a friend who hardly ever calls just to say hello and find out you are doing, but will never pass you over when they need help, such a friend is a parasitic one. It is a good and honorable thing to be the bigger person and one who most people can count on when things go awry for them but, sometimes such magnanimity can be mistaken for stupidity. At the end of the day, you may have to make up your mind about being willing to continue with the charade or breaking free from the shackles of parasitism.