When I did a piece on “How To Be A Nigerian” here I omitted the fact that Nigerians love noise. It is almost unforgivable and I apologise for that. Our undisputable love for noise should perhaps have come first on the list of the factors to look out for in identifying a typical Nigerian. The average Nigerian thrives in a noisy environment, whether on the streets, in our homes, cars, offices, churches and mosques who perpetually hold vigils and early morning services (are arguably the worst culprits when it comes to propagating noise) or at events. It’s almost as though we are not existing when we don’t make noise.
Stage invasions, confounding statements, outlandish comments and unabashed braggadocio are only a few phrases that can be used to describe the persona of Kanye Omari West, the American rap star and recording producer. Just when the world thought the self-professed god could do nothing to surprise them anymore, the highly controversial maverick pulled yet another stunner by announcing that he will be running for president in the 2020 American presidential elections during his acceptance speech for a lifetime achievement award at the 2015 Video Music Awards on Sunday. Kanye did what he knows how to do best. Get the world talking.
It was during one of those spells of fuel scarcity that has become a staple of Nigeria. The few fuel stations that were selling the product had their shenanigans in full swing. Either they were selling above the stipulated pump price of premium motor spirit or collecting a fee before they would even commence dispensing fuel into one’s car or keg. The supposed government owned NNPC fuel station in my area decided to get into the game in a different way. Since they could not increase their prices outright or be seen to be demanding a fee before selling petrol like most of the other privately owned gas stations, they devised their own method which was to compel vehicle owners to buy engine oil before they could sell fuel to them.
I don’t consume any of the carbonated malt drinks. I discovered very early on that I didn’t like them. Not for any health or prejudiced reasons, I just didn’t (and still don’t) like the bitter aftertaste. I tried to like them. I felt I was weird because everyone (or at least everyone I knew) loved malt drinks. It is the preference at parties and many other functions as many believe it is a better option to other lower priced carbonated soft drinks. I have been at get-togethers where it was the only drink served and I had to pass on it, but not without escaping the curious stares of fellow attendees some of whom would ask why I wasn’t having it, wondering if it had to do with some weight loss program. My reply has always been the same – ‘No, it has nothing to do with a diet plan. I just don’t like the taste.’ I have come to accept it and have long since stopped trying to force myself to drink it.
I would gush about how “my boys” had a fantastic game and complain repeatedly whenever they had a bad game or fell short of expectations, and my friend who couldn’t care less about all the fuss about football in general and the premier league specifically would subtly ask me how they were my boys or if they were even aware of my existence, but I would brush her comments off as the ignorant views of the uninitiated – that is the effect football has on me and millions of other Nigerians and indeed football enthusiasts all around the world! It is so refreshing to be able to get away from all the controversies and uncertainties that have trailed events since the run up to the elections and after then, the endless debates and arguments among rival political parties and their voltrons, the recurring headache induced by relentless Boko Haram, the National Assembly brouhaha, the endless drama on social media and several other issues that spring up every day in this troubled world of ours. Football, the avenue for escapism is here!
In his most definite address regarding the growing criticism of his administrations delay in naming a cabinet since he assumed office over 2 months ago, President Muhammadu Buhari confirmed that he will not appoint ministers until September in his 20th of July Washington Post article following his four-day official visit to meet and discuss burning issues with President Obama of the USA in Washington D.C. He also cited the example of his US counterpart who also did not name a full cabinet as soon as he assumed office stating that that didn’t stop his administration from functioning in the interim.
The often unnecessary and sometimes exasperating use of abbreviations and acronyms have become a staple of our communication diets. They have slipped into everyday use in modern day communication. Even though abbreviations or shortened form of words or phrases are sometimes required in writing or typing, especially when taking lengthy notes or in using the short message service, many of us take its usage too far. Nowadays, a good percentage of young adults and even older people have caught the bug of excessively using abbreviations in written communication. It has assumed a worrying dimension as it is succeeding in polluting the English language, as well as encouraging growing laziness in young adults in particular.
I received the news about the decision of the Joint Admission And Matriculation Board (JAMB) to reduce the cut-off mark for candidates seeking admission into Nigerian Universities for degree programmes in the 2015/2016 academic session from 200 to 180 out of a possible 400 marks with some measure of puzzlement and amazement. I tried to find out what could have informed such a decision but could not really get any plausible explanation from all the news I read or heard. What is certain is that from October this year or thereabout when the next academic session would commence, schools are required to implement the new rule with regard to the admission of students. One can only assume that the officials of JAMB were convinced that they were taking the right step to help majority of University hopefuls whose hopes are dashed perennially having failed to make the previous pass mark of 200. I unequivocally disagree with this point of view. In fact I believe the education sector has just suffered a setback.
My childhood friend got married penultimate Saturday, and I was there to celebrate with her. Prior to her wedding, it had been a while since I last attended an “Owambe”- the local parlance for parties which literally means “it’s happening there.” I had almost lost touch with all the flamboyance and paraphernalia that usually accompanies such celebrations like weddings, birthdays and burial ceremonies, but once again was reminded that nobody throws and knows how to “work” a party like the Nigerian. As the latter part of the year when parties will most likely be thrown in quick succession approaches, it is important to know how to thoroughly enjoy a Nigerian party. Let’s get right into those things you have to consider to leave a party satisfied and glad that you attended;
It is now well over a month since President Muhammadu Buhari was sworn in as President and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, and to say that many Nigerians are somewhat disappointed at the seeming slow pace of activities of the Buhari led administration would not be off the mark. There is a growing sense of discontentment in the air. Buhari’s victory at the polls and subsequent assumption of office came on the backdrop of extremely high expectations. Like I had predicted in a previous article here. Many Nigerians expect nothing short of the miracle of turning water into wine from Mr President, his pedigree as a no-nonsense former military head of state during his first stint at the helm of affairs further strengthened the popular belief that Mr President would dive right into things commando style, guns blazing and firing from all cylinders. But that has not been the case.